I hope this doesn't go on forever. Or at least, until the end of year. I feel like I'm going to burst out any minute and ask everyone to shut up and mind their own business.
That would be too rude, wouldn't it? They are just caring about me, after all.
I have no idea how am I going to put this, but I feel more lost than I was a year ago when I entered form six.
When you were in lower six they tell you, 'oh so you're in form six. One year plus to think it through'.
In the beginning of the year I got 'Ahh... so you should have a slight idea now'. I just nodded because they nodded to their own question.
And when I have reached the final semester they say, 'still don't know which course yet? Better start thinking before you regret'
First up, I know what I want to do. I have decided. It may not be something that will blow minds and make people go 'ooooooh' or 'aaaaaaah', but clearly it's a decision. A straight-forward, honest decision.
People do not stop there, do they?
When I have told them that I have finally settled to take up business after STPM, the first thing they shoot at me is, 'then why are you still in Science?'
And I have to start explaining for the 378th time. I better type it down just in case one of you readers are curious and I have to explain it AGAIN. I enrolled in the Science stream because I didn't think that I could handle the business subjects ie. economics and accounting in bahasa. I can speak, read and write in bahasa but clearly it is not my first language, and I am afraid that I might get mixed up with some important terms (because of the language). Thus, I decided to continue in the Science stream because of that, and it's also just in case I want to get into a Science-related degree, I still can. I secretly want to be a doctor there ya have it!
Oh and it goes on.
'Why business? Why not something more outstanding?'
'Are you sure you want to do that?'
'I think you can do better'
'It's a waste lah. Think about it'
Fine. You asked for my decision. I gave it to you. Isn't it enough?
What is it with science students pursuing a business career? Is it wrong in any sense? How is it wasteful? How can it be wasteful? Are they implying that whoever is in business is less of a smarty-pants than a doctor/engineer/pharmacist?
If I wasn't sure that it's a course that I want to take up, I wouldn't have told you.
And what's with the 'I think you can do better' phrase? Like, in what way 'I can do better'? They never tell you. They just leave you thinking. Do better in what? Life?
I did put everything into thought. All I am left with are frustrations.
When I was younger I wanted to be a teacher. But I guess every kid wanted to be a teacher because aside from their family and friends, the closest person they know is their teacher(s). And as children grow older, they aspire to be astronauts and lawyers and doctors.
I didn't want any of those.
I wanted to be a fireman when I was 7 HAHAHAHA but that was because I admired the firemen from a tv drama zzzzz
It wasn't until I was about fifteen that I wanted to be a doctor. Of course now I backed out because I can see how far it is a rode to even drive on let alone walk (because I am that broke), and how high issit a mountain to climb. No will you say? No. Perhaps it's something that I want to do, but it's not something that I am destined to do. I am not giving up a dream, I am just letting go of an option. Studying Biology for so the past few years has made me realize that I have a bad memorizing ability. Bad eh? I also cannot imagine myself studying for 5 years in uni TT______TT 5 years and 4 years big difference please. Okay not really but still. By the time I finish my studies I would be 30 (I think I mentioned this before zzzz)
I guess what they say about the law of attraction is quite true. Children of doctors mostly end up being doctors, lawyers' kids end up being lawyers. There are occasions where a farmer's son successfully becomes an entrepreneur, but that's like what? One in a million? I come from a family where both my parents worked in offices, and I always had a thought planted in my mind that I would someday, also work in an office.
But I never go with the flow, right? I always wanted to be different. I am different. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I am just weird? Or maybe it's because I'm one of a kind? HUH? Now I sound like Bella -.- And no, I do not wish to be a vampire. But I don't mind finding a guy as handsome as Edward Cullen HAHAHA minus the vampire -.-
If life wasn't that much about money, and power, and social status....
I would probably do what I like. What I love. I do not have that kind of courage, to choose a path that I will love, but end up being miserable for the rest of my life.
But if I choose something that I don't like, wouldn't I be miserable too?
Why is life so complicated? :(
And this another fei (useless) post. Falalalala
Friday, July 19, 2013
This is the end of STPM Semester 2. The official epilogue (wah need or not?) because the results came out on Monday, and I am glad to say once again that I need not opt for any re-sit :D
Results were similar to my semester 1 results but I did drop in CGPA :( AND also lost an A! Of which I was pretty disappointed because I was confident enough to psycho myself that I would get an A in Pengajian Am but I ended up with a B+. Oh well, life goes on. Keep calm and read more newspapers. Apart from myself I believe that my classmates and fellow STPM students improved a mile this semester! I saw more happy faces this time hehehe compared to the results release of Sem 1 when everyone looked like they just came back out hell and had to walk to school D:
No I am not lying. Most of us were happy this time. Our hard work paid off. Those horrible sleepless nights were so worth it after seeing As in your grade.
Overall I am happy. Less in disbelief (compared to sem 1), but satisfied that I managed to pass all my subjects. I have to say that I have a tiny bit of regret for not striving harder. Because I know that I am able to do better, but I didn't try hard enough.
There's no turning back, is there? All I can do know is put a million ton of effort into this final semester (the real epilogue HAHA) and regret no more.
Yes, there is nothing to boast about passing but I give God the glory! For He knows what is best for me :)
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Monday was a holiday for our school because we had a concert on Saturday and they decided that we should have a rest day after months of preparation torment! YESSSS!!! Not that I did anything for the concert (didn't perform, didn't even go) but who doesn't like a sudden free day? hahaha
Audrey (class vice-monitor) decided that it would be a good day to have a class outing... at the beach -.-
Nope it's not that I have anything against the beach but considering my horrible previous visit with low tide and all the rubbish and pampers gushed up on the sand, I was sort of reluctant in fear of getting the same dirty beach I saw a month ago TT_________TT
And of course there were other reasons not to go ie. PERFECT TIME TO GO SHOPPING IN AN EMPTY MALL!! I love the malls on early weekdays because the entire mall is almost empty and you can stroll to your hearts content! and I would have also loved to stay at home and watch tv all day.
Hello anti-social + couch potato alert!
Okay, I went in the end. BUT I WAS LATE HAHAHA Because The Vow was showing on HBO and I can't resist!! It's a vvvvvveeeeerrrrrryyyy good movie and if you haven't watched it yet I suggest you do before ... well, before you regret!! It was a barbeque pot-luck and I brought ice-cream potong for dessert.
To my horror everyone was on time =_____= these science students are so obedient HAHAHA and everyone actually showed up!! I think it's because of Audrey's deadly threat and no one dared to say 'sorry mom I can't go to the beach on Monday'. Even our class teacher didn't dare to not go! Okay she's not that scary but she did give us a warning hahaha We still love you, Aud.
And I guess this is the first time I fell in love with the beach in Tanjung Aru (there I said it!!). I love the beach in Kudat because its sand is always white and fluffy and the water is like blue-ish green but I have never really liked Tg. Aru beach because it's always dirty and packed with people, and dogs, and the smell of garbage. The beach I saw on Monday totally turned the tables for me. It was clean. The sand was cleaner. The water so clear that you can actually see fishes (and jellyfish) swimming around. Of course there were rubbish here and there but it was definitely a mile better than a month ago (where I didn't know where to hide my face in front of the tourists because they came to a garbage dump, not a beach)
So I immediately went down to the waters and got pretty wet :O And then I found out that most of my classmates didn't bring an extra change of clothes because no one mentioned about getting wet. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! I don't remember any time that I did not bring extra clothes to the beach they have got to be kidding me =____= sometimes I even bring along 2 sets in fear of people throwing me into the sea after I change (Imissyougoodsamyouthseniors)
Here are some pictures I took, though it's not much ....
|Pointless picture. Note the waters and sky!|
|Classmates working on the barbeque :)|
|Psyduck & I lalalala|
|Another pointless picture. Photography skills are on rusty mode|
Aside from not having extra clothes to change, my classmates were extremely lazy when it came to beach activities. So okay maybe they didn't want to get dirty because they didn't have extra clothes but most of them just stayed under the shade most of the time! Until some of the girls got bored (maybe) and we decided to play volleyball. Okay, maybe it should be called passing-the-volleyball
|We also played a game where we had to spin 20 times and try to walk in a straight line to reach the volleyball HAHAHHA|
I guess I was the one who spent most of the time under the sun and hence, got a massive sunburn. I did put on sunblock on my entire body in fact but I was really burnt, to a crisp. I don't know why and I suspect the sunblock is expired/ washed away in sea water. My thighs were all red when I went home and my neck and shoulders were burning. My brother called me 'chicken bakar' (Burnt chicken) when I went home HAHAHA
Up till today my shoulders, neck and upper thighs are still flaming red. I am also tanned right now, surprisingly. I am actually secretly glad I got this tanned because I was so fair a few months back I looked like a living fat marshmallow D: It's not even funny I sometimes wonder why I was that fair :( and people kept asking me if I did any whitening treatment, of which I didn't! Come on lah who would do whitening on their thighs? You want tofu legs? Now I am still a fat marshmallow, but ready to be made into a S'more HAHAHA
|Ohai tanning companion lmao|
|I think all of us failed in posing HAHAHA|
And of course we had group photos. My classmates are surprisingly good when it comes to posing for the continuous 10 shots HAHAHA But I'll just give you three
Follow me on Twitter for my every day fat updates. I very fat now okay HAHAHA nope it's not funny it's true so I have decided to tweet about it? Will try to exercise at least once a week but it sometimes is impossible, because school is so hectic and by the time I reach home, I just wanna rest and sleep D: So, please pray that my fats will miraculously evaporate from my body.
And no, the sun just gives you a tan, but does not make fats evaporate (sad case)
Monday, July 8, 2013
As promised, this is the second part of life through a phone camera! YAY!! I feel like a badass good blogger because I actually fulfilled my promise. hahaha Come to think of it I have been blogging for almost five years now *shock face* but I have never cashed out from Nuffnang pffffft. Epic fail.
Five years of eye blood and sweat and wrist cramps but I never got even a single cent from blogging TT_______TT Nevermind, no one read my blog then I read it myself HAHAHA
And no I am not changing the ways I blog because, this is how I roll brothaaaa! It's like talking to myself hahaha and trust me I do talk like this in real life. Well, sort of. If I was given a chance to write essays like this in school I would.
Actually I can do that but my teachers would probably slap big Fs on the papers.
Okay, so this is the first half of 2013. Not much to share because it was a really busy first half :( Photos are almost in random order. By almost I mean that it's.... kind of in order HAHAHA
|Taken in Adele's NS camp when we went to visit her hehehe The whole camp ground actually looks good but there were too little trees and hence, the super hot 30000000 degree UV ray sun|
|Chinese New Year Eve dinner. We got a power cut that day lah so bad D:|
|Me and my cousin during CNY|
|Pictures of the Fifits during CNY :) Taken in Aly's house|
|More camwhoring. I have no idea why I like to smile like that. I don't even know if it's qualified as a smile -.-|
|In Michelle's house. She's the one in the red dress HAHAHA|
|World's most expensive pizza. And there's nothing boastful about it except that it is insanely small and overpriced.|
|Marie & I at Party Play.|
|When Marie's back I don't have to drive WHEEEEE!!!! Here she had 8 lives on her hands HAHAHA|
|My brother during our Louis Pang photoshoot!!|
|CNY dinner at Liana's house. The dishes were prepared by her mom and brother|
|Etude House hand creams! I think I posted this before but... they're too cuteeeee!|
|My team's dish during the cooking competition in our youth. This is called 'The Lord's Supper' hehehe it was gone within seconds so I guess it's kindda yummy?|
|Birthday dinner @ Aubergine. I totally forgot what is this but all I know that it's really yummy. I like this restaurant!!!|
|School's badminton competition organized by the form six badminton committee. I have never liked badminton zzz just saying|
|Pan Mee prepared by my aunt :D|
|Easter Sunday wheee oh I designed the blur t-shirt btw hehehe it's our GS Kids' workers uniform|
|Mochi? Muachi? Mushi? AAAAH THAT THINGY FROM JAPAN THAT TASTE REAL GOOD|
|Fifit's outing and later dinner at Sailors' Cafe, Rainfield.|
|The seven sexaaaaaay ladies|
Come to think of it I think this picture was taken when Taec & his fake wife went to Everland for a We Got Married shoot... while the girl went up that wooden roller coaster and he didn't because he said he would get a headache HAHAHA But I dunno lah MAYBE AH MAYBE.
But then the girl should have begged him to go up and not ditch him at the waiting area lah please... lousy pffffffft. But still she got to go to Everland with TAEC FATSO YEON @#$%^&*()
So his real wife is like...
|'NO LUNCH FOR YOU MISTER!!!'|
Picture taken when I was too bored and got frustrated because I can't do maths :(
So there ya have it!! (: I guess there will be more to come hehehe Cut my hair yesterday! Just saying...
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Went to the cinemas twice in a week!!
My family and I watched World War Z on Wednesday night. It's movie night here on Wednesdays so Nick and I begged our parents to bring us along to their movie date HAHAHA Nolah, they planned to watch it with my uncle and aunt + cousin and her husband so it wasn't just the two of them lol
I THOUGHT BRAD PITT WAS THE ZOMBIE!!! But he wasn't -.- My friends told me that this was a scary zombie show and that they couldn't sleep after that but it didn't turn out that bad. In fact, I think the zombies weren't scary at all but rather funny HAHAHA One of them was banging the wall for like, 5 seconds of the show! It's more of jump scares and sudden screaming but it's nowhere near 'I WANNA GO HOME NOW MOMMY TAKE ME HOME!!!' pee in your pants kind of scary. The storyline was kind of predictable but good movie though. Had a great laugh (oh my weirdo Abby you laugh in a zombie movie?)
This movie scored a 7/10 for me. Points to the zombie make up and derp faces but it had its letdowns when it came to zombie computer graphics (is that what you call it?)
And now.... the long awaited movie. I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS FOR NINE YEARS!!! NINE FOX TAIL YEARS. You know what is a lie ahem. Maybe it's like two years? TWO YEARS!!!!!!!
Okay maybe not exactly 2 years but the moment when this trailer came out lah, which was like the beginning of 2012 or so.
And this minions and minions, has been my anthem for the entire 2012, and first half of 2013.
So I was really excited when it came out!!! Went to watch with Shnwei yesterday after school and we had to rush for Chemistry tuition after that. You would never believe it but we were stuck in the city jam for almost an hour. AHHHHHH!!! My leg was sore after that hello manual cars are not ideal for traffic jams EVEEEERRR!!
I have a confession to make. I didn't watch Despicable Me. I did watch bits here and there but never the entire movie in one go. But who says you must watch the first one, then the second? No one, right??
The Minions don't even get bigger or fatter in Despicable Me 2 so I guess it doesn't make much difference hahahahaha The only difference is when they were injected with the PX 40 something and became purple UGLY monsters during the movie..
|Ugly Minion on the right. For the first time in my life I preferred something yellow to something purple.|
After watching the show, I feel one with the Minions HAHAHA probably because they are very annoying, like myself. Another similarity is that they like bananas too, and they can speak some weird language HAHAHA The movie overall was quite good but in the middle I was a bit sleepy for some reason. I don't know if it's because of the plot or because I was tired :(
But a great show to watch with your family and friends! And kids if you have any!! The kid (not my kid ah please) beside me chuckled like mad I was afraid that she would spill her popcorn.
Anyways, some Minion spam for you hahaha
|Gelato yi ga show!|
FAAAALALALA This is how you should propose to a minion lmao
|Minion stationery *RUNS TO BOOKSTORE LIKE MADWOMAN*|
If any of you are in McDonalds right now they still have these toys in stock. GRAB THEM WHILE YOU CAN!!! GRAB MANY IF YOU CAN!! We went to McD after the show but the first three Minions that were released this week were all sold out :( NUUUUUUUUU Please do get me one if you are in McD pleaaaaaase!! I'll buy you a banana!!!
I have to say that as much I love the Minions and Agnes that cute little kid, I think World War Z was a better movie if you put it alongside Despicable Me 2. Perhaps I was expecting too much from DP2 (the trailer was just too good) Yes it was funny and all but if I compare it with Epic, I'd like Epic more because it was funny AND mind-opening. lalalalala
BUT I STILL LOVE YA MINIONS. JI GA BLUUUUU
I've finished Me Before You the day I posted the previous blog post about it. It was indeed a nice story! The part that made it good was the fact that the story ended how I didn't want it to end. That's something thrilling for me, not outsmarting the author hehehe I mean, what is fun when I am on the same page with the author? It feels like you're reading a story from your brain archive!!
Am gonna rate this book an 8/10!! Definitely an author that I'm going to chase after! hehehe
Am gonna rate this book an 8/10!! Definitely an author that I'm going to chase after! hehehe
Monday, July 1, 2013
You know, sometimes I get too engrossed in a fiction, I tend to get lost in that world and leave behind my real world.
Of course not.
I don't exactly like to imagine myself in Twilight (believe me I am not much of a Vampire fan), but I always, always get too immersed in stories that are very.... real. Like plain old simple stories of a girl and a guy, with their dogs etc. Stories that everyone can fit in, without getting bitten by a vampire.
And this week I have been reading this.
Yeah I know it has been on the shelf for maybe a year or so but it's still veryyyyyyyy good. At least, half of the book is. I haven't got to the last part of the book but I sense it's going to be good. And I hope I am right :)
So the story is about Lou, a girl who lives a simple life as a waitress in a cafe.. until the cafe closed down and she was left jobless (obviously). She took on a job as a carer for a quadriplegic named Will Traynor. So in this story, he is paralysed from chest down, sits in a wheelchair (probably one like Stephen Hawking's) and doesn't hope for his future at all. This Will guy is seriously emo about his situation and wants to kill himself, which of course Lou steps in to help realize that he has reasons to live.
AND THAT'S ALL LALALALA I'M GONNA GO READ IT NOW. I will try to update when I reach the end!! :D