Tuesday, May 29, 2012

APCOD & Mani-pedi @ Hannah Tai

Before I post anything I just want to say that my blog post about Big Bang is just merely my POV and if you are offended in any way, pretend I don't exist and you have never read it :/ But that blog post explains exactly how I feel (and actually there's more) so I don't intend to hide it.

So what happened this week?

Orientation started this week and yes, I'd be lying if I said it was nothing much. After years of being in school, I still had to get used to the first day of form six, so much for the training. I must tell you that it's far far different from secondary school. No wonder teachers want us to call ourselves 'Pre U students'. I get the point, because form six is zero percent the same as whatever you did in form five!

On Wednesday night I helped out with registration at APCOD (Asia Pacific Consultation On Discipleship). Sounds grand huh? Well, it is grand. There were people coming from India, Pakistan, Nepal and many other countries so it was really interesting to see these people gather in the audtorium for the same purpose. I was only there for registration and Info counter on Saturday so I didn't get to go for the sessions but it was still, fun. But tiring as well hahahaha

My name tag =D


The night before the registration we had to help out in sorting the name tags according to groups, which was East/West Malaysia, Overseas and Speakers. Gaaaah in the end I think the name tags which we (ma and I) were in charge of got real messed up and I was $^&*_)(& but then later I sorted it out lah like a boss hahahaha

Cupcake.. Reward for staying behind the info counter hahaha


On Friday, Shnwei and I went to Hannah Tai to have a manicure + pedicure. Sounds classy? =O Nolah! I got the deal from Groupon which cost RM50 for the both of us! To me RM25 is cheap lah for both mani and pedi so I decided to try it. Got nothing to lose and my nails are always hopeless one LOL

But on that day itself I was actually kind of anxious because the last time my mom purchased a deal from Groupon it actually turned out very suckish. It was a meal for 2 at a restaurant called Kampung Chicken Pot (or something similar) somewhere opposite CKS Millennium. The service was bad, the waiters didn't know what to serve us, food portion very little, not to mention not nice. It's not that I want to put them out of business but at least give me good customer service if you don't serve me good food.

To my surprise the mani-pedi experience was not bad!! It was good okay considering that we only pay RM25! The package advertised in Groupon was said to have nail shaping, callus removal and one nail colour (both hands and legs) and it cost more than RM100 per person or something. But when I referred to the price list Hannah handed me it was actually much cheaper. What we were offered was actually the 'Express Manicure' and 'Express Pedicure' which cost around RM30 each. So it was pretty worth it lah we were pampered and the place was cozy as well! Not to mention the staff there were friendly and the sofa was so big :O

Thumbs up to Hannah Tai!!

One of her staff painting my toenails. OHMAIGASH NOW THE WHOLE WORLD WILL KNOW MY TOES ARE REALLY SHORT. SAVE ME!!
Moley (Shnwei's nickname from me) flipping through the magazines will pretty nail designs *faints all so pretty
My nail colour! Which I named 'coral nails' hahaha because the colours (green and blue) look so much like the sea and reminds me of corals LOL This was taken yesterday so the index finger's colour is chipping off already. I'm rough ngah!!
We were allowed to choose only one colour for each nail so yeah, I did alternate colours. It's my first time trying China Glaze (no its not from China!) and I really really love the vibrant and young colours they have! Nail art at this shop costs RM2 per nail, and 3D nail art for only RM5. I think it's quite reasonable given her nail art is pretty amazing. 

If there's more offers at her place I'll definitely buy it again!! =D

Holidays just started! And these two days have been, uhm, LAZY but I did manage to do a little homework (well, only one keratan akhbar but it took me about an hour to complete it yesterday!).. Wednesday and Thursday is Harvest Festival so my parents are on holiday as well!! Whee! Hopefully we get to go somewhere and not stay at home all day. Until the next post, HAPPY KAAMATAN!!

Saturday, May 26, 2012

I'm not a VIP

... and I don't pretend to be one.

Perhaps I have no rights to say this because I am not a VIP. I don't mean VIP as Very Important Person, but rather the nickname that Big Bang fans call themselves. I have friends that are VIPs, and I respect them, but saying I'm not one of them doesn't mean I hate them, I just don't pretend to be a fangirl. But I see a lot of girls, and guys are doing it without thinking.

I bet it all started with this music video.




INDEED IT WAS FANTASTIC, BABY!

Little that the new VIPs (okay I'll just put it this way) know that before this MV came out,  senior VIPs were already anticipating Big Bang's 2012 comeback, stayed up late at night just to watch the teasers and pre-ordered their ALIVE album. From what I saw, new VIPs only circled around this music video, this song and followed dance moves to this song.

Of course they know Bad Boy and Blue (also in the ALIVE album) but I tell you Fantastic Baby became a drug to young people from the age to 12 to 25. The other day I was buying apples at a supermarket I saw a young couple staring at the apple saying, Wow! Fantastic Baby! and then proceeded to buy some. Please lah. *givesdisgustedstare

I admit that Fantastic Baby was over the top. Costume, melody, stage, class. It's all in one. It's so fun, so catchy AND I LOVE IT TOO. But then, some people started to get crazy about this one song, literally. They converted themselves from zero kpop to KPOP IS MY LIFE OMAIGASH I LOVE BIG BANG!!

Trust me, this is from what I observed on a certain homo sapien's facebook page.

At first she (yeah it's a woman so what?!) only posted pictures of people like Chase Crawford and stuff on her timeline, normal.

NEVER WAS THERE ANY SIGN OF KPOP.

Then after the MV of Fantastic Baby was released, someone shared it to her. [I am trying to refresh this chronologically because her stuff always got so many comments it appears on my news feed at Top Stories D: and I cannot tahan must stalk her timeline lol] And I think she only saw the video, then liked it. Nothing much here.

One month later (this person's rate of catching on a trend = sloth's rate of eating it's food), after numerous posts of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, she shared a post on guess what? FANTASTIC BABY and wrote, 'THIS IS MY FAVOURITE MV EVER!!!'

and I went, what the ?!

And then came the flooding of Big Bang member's pictures and MV of Blue and Bad Boy and quoting of their songs.

AND THEN SHE STARTED CALLING TOP HER HUSBAND AND I WAS LIKE @#$%^&*()(*&^$

So her friends got all YAY! BIG BANG FOR LIFE kind of thing and I was really irritated. Not that they cannot like Big Bang or cannot be their fans or cannot like TOP or cannot appreciate Kpop but please, do it in a manner that people will not hate you lah.

I have no right at all to say that Big Bang is not worthy of so much love, because I love them too. I truly respect the blood and sweat of all the five members because they have given me music that makes me, happy. But then I think a lot of these people are just faking it. I mean, who are they to say that they are TRUE VIPs when they just listened to Bad Boy, Blue and Fantastic Baby?

Get the point?

What I'm trying to say is that yes, you can become a fan of Big Bang because of these three songs, but don't pretend like you know the whole Big Bang at the tips of your fingers. Don't go showing off saying TOP is very handsome, you know everything about him (please lah by everything I assume you mean his hair, his eyes, and his long legs. HIS BIRTHDAY LEH YOU KNOW AH?) and he's your husband but in fact you don't even know that he collaborated with GD and produced a sexy song titled 'HIGH HIGH'



This was the anthem of the year for me back in 2010 hahahaha I remember playing this song over and over again while studying Sejarah and in the end I just stood up in my room to dance! And up till today I still love the to bang my head along to this song, though I still don't know every single word to the lyrics, but I love it.

I was first introduced to Big Bang by a friend of mine in church (best not be named later she hit me LOL) and I didn't know who they were at that time but I just loved the melody to their music so much. My computer wasn't able to read Korean texts at that time so it was all *squaresquaresquare* like that hahahahaha I think the song I first heard was 'Lies'. LOL

And few years later (okay maybe only a year but seems like forever because I played those songs over and over again), HARU HARU CAME OUT AND I WAS LIKE, I FOUND MY FIRST LOVE!!


Dang! I love this song man! I think few days ago they played this MV on MTV I was smiling from ear to ear while listening to it. I don't know why happy lah hahahahaha
So later on I started to listen to Big Bang, without being a crazy fan girl of course. Fan girling doesn't work for me of course, all I can do is appreciate their music and style. That's all. And then there was Oh my friend and Cafe which I love so much and will always sing the parts which I know. Mainly the english parts only LOL
A lot of new VIPs don't know that most of the Big Bang members have their own solo careers, like GD & TOP, Seungri (who's MVs are always played on MTV idk why) and my favourite of all favourites, Tae Yang. Because of this song....


Oh man I like this song like I like donuts. I remember I once said that if a guy writes a song like that I would kick myself to him and wear a wedding dress for him lmao which means I will marry that guy LOL

Am not trying to bash any of the VIPs here but I'm just trying to say that you don't have to try that hard to fit into the circle. Yes K fever is getting more serious but then you don't have to go gaga about everything related to Big Bang lah please. But of course, I am happy that Big Bang has great success and hopefully Tae Yang will come up with more songs like wedding dress to let me swoon over!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

I'm melting!

Because of the sun!!

I bet this the is hottest week in Kota Kinabalu Weather history!! Did we reach 40 degrees already because I sweat even when the fan is turned to 3!!! Right now I have a stand fan directly blowing at me + the air cond! And I still feel hot and sticky. That is what you call global warming and I do believe that it is part of my (and yours too!) fault because I only know how to state the ways of preventing global warming on a test paper, while in reality I don't practice them at all. It's true. The thing I do which I presume contributes a nano-percent in saving our Earth is that I only turn on the air-cond for one hour when I sleep and that saves a lot of electricity LOL and the fact that I don't smoke reduces air pollution (shame on you, smokers!) Otherwise I am doing a terribly bad job TT_____TT Maybe I should stop buying books to save 234567 trees, and not drink water to save water (because I can drink up to 2 liters of water a day OHMAI)

Despite the blazing UV rays, the school decided to carry out a sukaneka (sort of like a mini sports game or similar to that) at 10am in the morning yesterday and I was like, WHAT!?!?!?! Reasons I opposed the sukaneka is because

1. It is very hot.
Be it any time of the day, IT IS JUST HOT LIKE AN OVEN.

2. We are old already
HELLO I bet sukaneka is like, for kids or for form one students lah! We are in form six and yet we still have to go through this?!?! =O 18-year-olds usually practice an unhealthy lifestyle instead of playing basketball ahh okay, for instance we lepak at ZenQ for 2 hours!!

[just got off the phone with my aunt from the UK hahahaha was on the phone for so long I forgot what I wanted to blog about lmao]

3. I'M LAZY!!!!!
That explains all of it. hahahaha. They came up with handball and tug-of-war for us to sweat our butts off but in the end we only managed to play handball. I only wanted to play tug-of-war but I didn't get to so it was so disappointing okay!! I changed into my track shirt and went under that ball of fire for nothing!!!

So uhm.. yeah. Started the sukaneka at around 10am, which was after recess. We were asked to sing a Birthday Song to a person and were forced to sit through speeches before that. ugh. There, half the morning wasted.

Audrey acting cute
Team One taking a group shot. We were supposed to be up against them for tug-of-war but no chance ='((

Explaining the rules...
I thought we were going to play handball at the newly upgraded basketball court (we have roofs woohoo!!) but sadly they chose to play it at the student carpark TT_____TT AMEH!! Please lah even playing on the field is a better choice but the carpark?!



It's game time!

I think they were wearing netball vests? I don't know whether the same player rules from netball apply for this similar sport but I think the players were all confused about what they were supposed to do = me confused. Half the time I saw the center shooting the ball and the shooter doing goal keeper work -.-

This is Shnwei's cousin brother wearing her imaginary husband's initials LOL

Remember me saying I didn't wanna play handball? Well I ended up being on the court too. AND I WAS FORCED TO. Not really, actually I just reluctantly did it because I guess I was giving Audrey a hard time (sorry!) and the other team members (okay maybe only some) showed me a pissed off face. WHAT?!?!?! Y U NO LET ME STAY UNDER THE POKOK?!?!


me, my pose, and my thigh fats
Our school has sports props shortage and therefore I became the shooting ring -.- Yup, that is how I make myself useful. My job is to catch the ball when my team attempts to shoot it. AND I DIDN'T CATCH ANY!!!! Wasn't my fault okay because I tried my best and this goal keeper from the other team was blocking my way!! Hello he was supposed to guard the shooter/attacker but instead he guarded me =____= THE PROP. I'm not even playing one actually, I just stood there and try to catch the ball when it's passed to me! But at one moment because I was so determined to score a point for my team and he was stepping on my tail I just ran into the court (WOW THE PROP WALKS!!!) and attempted to take the ball.

Yup, and then I was scolded by the judge and teachers I DON'T CARE BANANAS. Even when I tried to state that the goal keeper is not supposed to guard me they didn't understand so alah... Just let it be and let me burn under the sun. meh.

My team in action.
The score was 3-0. Our team LOST!!! ALL BECAUSE THE PROP RING FAILED TO CATCH THE BALL. I AM VERY SORRY SORRY LIKE SUPERJUNIOR. GIMME ANOTHER CHANCE AND I WILL.... wait. FORGET IT. I will not play this game if it's so unorganized like this time -.- And least wear the vests in the right order and get a shooting ring okay.

Oh right, those who were not playing were supposed to cheer for your team mates okay. And there was this particular person who went blaming on those who were in the court when the team lost. Hello!?! They've done their best in the game and yet you dare scold your own team mates?! You didn't do anything and yet you yabba-yabba there?? Ugh. Get a life seriously those were in the court fought in a battle, and you did what?! NOTHING. And yet you blame the others when your country lost the battle? Pffffffffft

After the game I was pissed off so I just sat in heat and anger. And then I a took picture of myself.
and Mei Ling. See my pimples all burst out because it's too hot and the smile is so fake I'm choking

Then I took a picture of Karee, who's team won the game I think


Yup, that's all. One more week of orientation then it will the holidays!! WHOOOOPIE!!!


A felt head that I made one afternoon. It's supposed to be Taec but then it doesn't really look like him zzz One of my friends thought it was my grandma OHMAI nice or not? no


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Shut Up! Orientation

I am not asking orientation to shut up, although I wish it would end faster because the past two days have been boring!

Am just gonna post about the shows I have watched for the past month before form six started. Basically just showing off how I wasted my time at home. In between korean dramas I did do some productive things for instance, making jelly and eating them all.

Okay nevermind!

Watched a show called Shut Up! Flower Boy Band, a show recommended by Shnwei because Infinite's L is starring in it. I bet it's another show of the 'flower boy' chain. Most girls hate it and many of them gave negative reviews but I just don't know why! So far Flower Boy Ramen Shop and SUFBB (this one) is not bad I must say. Especially this one because it talks about friendship and how they mature from being just an underground band to a famous group. It's not only about hot guys (but I can't deny that it's the main reason I watch this!) but the story is rather interesting as well!!


Watched a season of Hello Baby featuring MBLAQ. Hello Baby is a reality series where artistes get a chance to 'take care' of kids for a period of time. And basically that is how they make money!! I don't know MBLAQ really well but after watching this I totally fell in love with them LOL Not really. I only like Mir and Lee Joon(actually I like him while he went on Oh My School), who were outcasts because they failed in a challenge searching for kids. It's a funny show lah because it's like, the MBLAQ members have no idea how to take care of kids and Leo (the only guy kid they have) is a total destroyer!! Then the members also try to impress the two girl kids LOL so young also attack!! Mir even proposed to one of them but then he was rejected.

Okay why did I post about this?!

Bored at home and it's really hot. If I don't blog I think I might be sleeping on the living room floor or lying down on the sofa! Orientation so far has been boring but I just have to endure for one more week, then it's the holidays!! YAY!! After that classes officially start. I don't know whether I'm looking forward to it or not but I do hope that form six would be interesting and fun, despite the stresss and craziness!! I'm saying this because I actually chose Biology over Physics! Yeap, am taking science again although I promised myself not to touch any of them for the rest of my life. But I can't :( I wanted to take commerce but then I realized that lessons are going to be conducted in Malay and I'm not really good at it! The Economics teacher also scared us about how hard it is no matter which stream you used to be in form 5 and I was like ...

So right now my subjects are General Studies and MUET which are compulsory, Pure Mathematics, Chemistry and Biology. Five subjects that aren't easy. Shoot me!!! Chemistry is a compulsory subject so that definitely stresses me out because I am not good in Chemistry at all! Don't ask me why! It's like me and Chemistry don't blend well at all. If I was given the chance I would take Biology and Physics instead of Chemistry because I just don't like it!! Oh yeah, and picking Biology wasn't easy at all but then I just followed my instincts and went ahead with it. Guess I really want to be a doctor after all LOL joking! There are 34 students in Science while 18 of them are taking Biology, 16 going with Physics and I was like WALAO!! I didn't know Bio was so popular and I thought only less than 15 would choose it. But I was wrong crap.

Sukaneka tomorrow. Oh no I thought only form one kids do this but apparently they are treating us like them too!!!


Sunday, May 13, 2012

Farewell dinner @ Party Play

I was really cranky on the first day of orientation, which was last Thursday. I have been in school since I was 2 and a half years old and now still have to go through 3 weeks of orientation in the school I went to for the past 5 years ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! So I basically lc-ed everyone and showed sour face to new students. Sorry lah if you get the wrong impression but that time I was really beh song. I'm actually quite friendly so do say hi to me lol.

Enough of that.

During orientation Audrey, Shnwei and I (so funny we end up together again haahaa plus Siaw of course but she is soon gonna ditch us if she gets another offer) were planning to have a farewell for Marie, Pae Yii and Huang before they leave for further studies in West Malaysia. Problem is most of us had plans on Saturday, and I have youth on Friday night so we were scratching heads NO TIME FOR US TO MEET UP AIYAHHH. So the three of us decided to have it Friday afternoon after school, since that's the only time we have.

After school Audrey and I went for lunch together then I received a text from Pae Yii saying they are having farewell TODAY (Thursday) and ask us to confirm attendance etc LOL so I said okay then Audrey called her mom to tell her about here whereabouts here mom told her that Huang wants to treat her for dinner lmao!! So yeah, kelam kabut then we decided to go out that night for farewell!! (It was in such a rush LOL I only read the text only at 3pm and dinner was 6.30!!)

So hooray the farewell cheered me up!!!

The farewell was at Party Play, Lintas. They (PY, Huang and Marie) said they were treating us LOL so everyone segan segan don't dare order expensive stuff! Then later Shnwei and I told Pae Yii no need treat so I ordered without looking at the price LOL Actually it's my first time in Party Play (if you don't count Red Soul concert) and I was very confused with the menu hahahaha

Here are some blur pictures I took of the food


Chicken Chop with mashed potatoes. Cheapest main course I think. Everyone ordered Chicken Chop except for Tam Kang, Marie and I!! It's RM16 lol we help them save money!


Mole Lee eating


Aussie Style Beet Batter Fish & Chips.



Chicken Chop with Wedges.
You can choose either wedges, fries, mashed potatoes or rice to go with you main course I think!!



The hungry people!

Main course also comes with a salad! YAY!



My giant club sandwich!!
Which cost RM20, the most expensive dish our table ordered!! And I didn't pay for it in the end LOL I will remember for the rest of my life that I had a sandwich this big and my friends paid for it!! It was really yummy too! The flavours were nice together!!


Oh, maybe you were wondering how big it is....

OKAY I SHOW YOU!!!

vs the height of the fork!!!
BIG LAH OKAY I WAS ALL MESSY EATING THIS!


After dinner we went to ZenQ for desserts. Crazy people we are going out on a school night and having so much food though we promised to lose weight! This time we paid for desserts!



Marie and I shared a bowl. ZenQ signature.
I like the taste of the grass jelly but somehow this bowl of thingee we ordered taste like some kind of herbal tea hahaha but it was nice though.



Audrey & Pae Yii's choice. Similar to ours but it comes with shaved ice. Our was ice with some type of flavour ..?


After that we took polaroids!! And this came out so funny....

I asked Tam Kang to take the picture but he didn't dare to click the button so Audrey being impatient, snatched Patrick (my polaroid) and snapped!!
So you can see that Marie is pointing to the back, asking Tam Kang to get in the picture as well and Huang making a face. He claimed that his eyes were itchy or something.
There you have it! A fifit picture! Fifits are always awesome because we are unpredictable, and funny. HAHAHAHA

After that we waited outside ZenQ, and this crazy night club was booming songs like a boss till our ears hurt but then we weren't bothered because we were taking pictures. ahahaha.

What kind of pose is this?!?!



Pae Yii, Marie and Huang
BYE BYE THANK YOU THREE FOR DINNER!!!
Marie is going to Perak because she got the Petronas Scholarship (jealous!!!!!) while Huang and Pae Yii are both going to UTAR in KL.


Marie and I.
Same class since primary 2 and now she's ditching me!!! NOOOO!!!

Shnwei and Pae Yii


Pae Yii and I.
Why my face look so yuck?!

Shnwei and Pae Yii


Audrey, Marie and a shampoo guy


What kind of pose is this 2.0

Shnwei and Marie.

Pae Yii's car came so all of us did a group hug before she leaves together with Huang and Marie.


See Siaw all excited for the hug. Hamsap!

After that she was too high and her picture with Marie turned out like this....



Have a safe journey you three!! Study hard and make sure you belanja me more in the future!!!


******


To all the moms,

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!

Right now my mom is vacuuming the house because we are gonna have BBQ tonight and family is coming over! Oh man I hope no one ask me about my form six D: Fail daughter lah me am not helping instead I'm blogging -.- Okay, I'll help now loh!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

For the love of..

I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I went on an emotional roller coaster this week. Not just emotionally, but physically, mentally, spiritually and jelly. I am at the edge of breaking down and sobbing like a fat kid but then I am holding back as much as I can. As I am typing away here I can already feel myself breaking down bit by bit, but trying hard not to let tears at the edge of my eyes fall. I have been boggling on whether to update a post about now, about this week, about this important part of my life. The answer was no, but right now I have no one to turn to, no one to talk to. I Skyped Liana just now and realized how much I miss talking to someone. I talked to God, I prayed hard [okay crying I will continue later zzz]

[updated 2 days after the emo text above. Please do not read this if you are fed up of me being a cry baby and complain freak]

Hi. I survived all my emoness and tears. I didn't attempt to commit suicide but chose to give my parents and my brother a shock on Sunday evening. After typing all that up there I couldn't help it and went to the bathroom. Yeaps, cried a little in there and then held it back and thought I could handle it like a boss. Once I got into the living room, did something to distract myself and then I failed, then I cried on the couch while listening to my mom talk about her dream she had the other night or something. By this, you can see that I was very 'unstable' and wasn't paying attention at her story at all.

I cried for a whole hour. A WHOLE FRIGGIN HOUR. I couldn't stop. I didn't know how to. Usually when I know I'm gonna cry a lot I usually force myself to stop but it didn't work this time. I cried on the couch like a baby for about an hour, and when I went into my room I cried more. I even choked on toothpaste while brushing my teeth. Okay not funny.

I couldn't take it anymore. For the past week I have been busy planning on what to study, what to do blah blah blah. And I guess all the pressure got to me and I was still, unsure of what to do in the near future. My friends were so sure of what they wanted to do. Go on form six, go to college, be a doctor so on so forth. For me it was more of, 'what I don't want to do' instead of 'I want this and that'.

I applied for scholarships and other things and I didn't get any. I went through rejection 4 times in a row that week (My appeal for my Chemistry paper was renied, I failed to enter the teachers training college, Application for both JPA and Petronas scholarship were declined. There you go! 4 BIG NOs SLAMMED IN YOUR FACE!! + the matriculation in Labuan also I failed to get in!! But then it was either form six or matrix so I guess that doesn't count. But then again I paid 6 bucks for the application pin!! NOOOO!!!!).

My former classmates and friends who applied for teachers training college all got an acceptance, but me. Marie got both Petronas AND JPA. My other friends also got into matriculation and they were all celebrating and inside I was like, FFFFFFFFUUUUUUU and I was really pissed because I knew that I had the potential to get it but I failed miserably :(((((( I'm truly and really happy for my friends and what do I get? A suckish feeling of failure, stinky ol' failure.

And then there is the pressure. Not really from my parents but other people ie close family members and friends. Seriously I hope they would mind their own business and not stick their noses into mine/ours. I was enjoying my meal one day and met a couple who were close to my family so they asked my parents what I wanted to do. And then my parents gave them the very honest, 'Oh, don't know yet go form six first' answer. Then the uncle gave me a disgusted look as if I was dug out from the dumpster or something and told me, 'what? you haven't decided yet? How much time do you have left and here you are doing nothing? You better decide if not you will be wasting your time (and it goes on)'

Lost my appetite then. Sad.

Perhaps many people ask about my studies because they care for me. But hello?!?! I know humans aren't perfect and maybe somehow they don't know how to express their care/concern for someone BUT CAN YOU AT LEAST NOT MAKE ME FEEL BAD BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO?!?!

Can't you just say,
'oh it's okay. Take some time to think but don't take too long. No matter what I will support you.'

Lord bless whoever that person is who says that to me!! I thank You for them!!

Easy to get a response like that? Nope. Even if I tell them what I want to do, say 'a teacher', they would give you a harsh answer and blah blah blah blah. YOU TELL ME GOT PRESSURE OR NOT?!?!

So for that week I was really confused, upset, sad, angry, frustrated and most of the time LOST. I didn't want to form six. I never wanted to. And do I have a choice? Yes I do have other choices but what's wrong with form six? Nothing wrong, indeed. But I cannot convince myself that nothing is wrong because I am afraid of losing. Yes, afraid of losing. Why? Because when you tell people that you are going back to your high school to do form six they will give you the disgusted/pity look and ask, 'Why you wanna take form six? Why no take A levels or foundation or SAM?' My answer is I don't know so shut up and let me do my form six. I know that for one, form six is hard. Two, form six is not as 'recommended' compared to A levels/matriculation/foundation. Three, it takes a longer time to finish. As a kid I knew I don't wanna do form six, last year I was stern and studied hard to not put myself in form six (because people say form six are for those who didn't do well etc) but then this happened.

You think I didn't try? You think I am desperate to go into form six because I love it like a love song? NO. It's because I don't have much choices and I (plus my parents) chose what I/we think it's best for me, and my further studies. If form six is so bad as everyone said then why is it still alive, and why are students opting for it?

I just needed to cry because I have sucked in the tears for one whole week (and maybe longer). I assume the tears shed in that one hour can make 3 cups of green tea (salty one) but it was such a relief and I finally accepted the fact that I'm going to form six. It's nothing bad, so why not give it a try?

Today I registered for form six. Wherever this takes me to it's a step that I take in my journey of life. Good or bad I'm going to finish it because I chose it, and I believe that God has prepared it for me as well. I'm not a quitter, and I will definitely not give up.

In years to come I might look back at this incident I had, and hopefully I've grown stronger because of this (:

Friday, May 4, 2012

One feeling

It sucks to be me right now.
I don't even want to explain it because it sucks too bad.



"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I am fat

Recently I have been feeling very unhealthy and fat. Reason is I have not been doing any exercise and I don't sweat as much as I used to so I guess I am not burning any calories. Another reason is I'm feeding myself too much and not eliminating any from my body (constipation sucks). Therefore, I conclude that I am fat and have to loose weight or else I won't fit in to my old school uniform (Form six registration is next week and we have to wear our uniforms I'M DOOMED!! How can I be slim and sexy in less than 5 days!?!)


Oh well. Beats me. I have to start exercising now and start eating less junk food. Have to get my muscles back so I can punch some people! Nah, just joking but I do admit that I am flabby and have to lose weight or else my plan to marry a handsome and hot dude would fail a million times. Unless the guy likes a girl like me who never exercise and eats excessively EWWWW No way. So I have decided to start living healthy. AHA! This is my new resolution LOL Every time I make a New Year's resolution I never complete it and it just gets piled up lalalalala 


BE SERIOUS OKAY. Okay! This is my Mid year resolution - Live healthy, stay healthy. 


The important thing is to 'shift' my weight to the 'healthy' scale, maintain it,  and not move to the 'obese' scale.


Just for fun I went to google what FAT really means since fat is sometimes harsh when you use it to pinpoint people's weight. Which is what I am doing to myself because I am trying to make myself feel very fat and thus psycho myself into not eating so much fatty food. hahaha. So here is the definition for fat, according to dictionary.com

FAT

1. having too much flabby tissue; corpulent; obese: a fat person.
This defines me, and my current belly fats. They were muscles but now they have turned into flabby tissue. Seriously it's hard to maintain muscles and muscles GAHH!! My muscles turned into flabby tissues in just two months! (after quitting from wushu and it has been piling up since)
2. plump; well-fed: a good, fat chicken.
This proves that I'm not starving all day and indeed I am well fed. haha Proves that my mom's and grandma's cooking is superb that's why I eat so much LOL



3. consisting of or containing fat; greasy; oily: fat gravy; fat meat.
Means I have lots of fats in my body hahaha Good for people living in the countries with four seasons but for blazing hot Malaysia, not so much.

4. profitable, as an office: a fat job on the city commission.
Wow I didn't know you could use fat in this way! Will use it in my essays!


5.affording good opportunities, especially for gain: a fat business contract.
Next time when my teacher asks me what I gained from the lessons I'm gonna say, a fat experience! Is that they way you use it? The teacher might probably be offended, y'know.

6. wealthy; prosperous; rich: He grew fat on dishonest profits.
I am fat = I am rich?! No way man. 
 
7. big, broad, or extended; thick: a fat sheaf of bills.
Indeed I have a big head, a broad palm, and extended thighs and flab.

 
8. plentiful; abundant: a fat supply of food.
 I have an abundant amount of thigh fats. 
  
9. plentifully supplied: a fat larder; a fat feast.
Over supplied I must say HAHAHAHA
 
10. dull; stupid: fat clumsiness of manner.
I never knew fat could be used as dull & stupid =O That's new. So if I am accused of being FAT means I am actually overweight and stupid? That is so harsh!!

Okay I did this out of boredom =___= But I did find out that FAT is actually more poisonous that ugly (at least ugly doesn't mean you are stupid) GOSH! So it's better not to use so much of fat fat fat fat. Maybe overweight is a better way to put it?